Feelings...

I'm having mixed feeling and trying to stay in the moment...he's had two on the job injuries within two months time this year (one last November which would make three and it's not like him to get hurt). It has taken this last one September 25, 2008 for the doctors to realize something else is going on with him. He has a saying and I'll have to put the quote down right later on but it goes something like this: "Expect the worst, Hope for the best and Bring on what it is and go on with Life". He says it better and again I will have to ask him to repeat it to me...

I'm trying to be strong and we talked some this this morning and he says after thinking back and how his body has been trying to tell him something and he has just thought it to be "Old Age" coming on as he just turned 64 years old...he's been a hard worker all his life and doesn't know anything else and slowing down is hard to do...I agreed with him because I've had to learn to slow down with my health and I have been trying to get my health on track or keep it still maintained as I have said in the past I feel I'm going to be needed to support him and be the stronger one. Staying in the moment is hard and I feel I have no one to talk to just yet until all the tests come back as to why his "left humerous shaft" got fractured/broken...the ER doctor said there was something eating away at his bone in his arm...best way I can explain the fracture is like grabbing the shoulder and elbow and pulling opposite directions and it cracks around the arm...

We are waiting for the hospital to call and schedule the appointments for a chest x-ray, MRI and CT of his arm and we got a call today to go in for a bunch of blood tests and with the results...his determination/decision will be made based on that...continue working after his arm is fixed or retire and/or go on disability...If all tests come back that whatever is going on with his arm is confined to his arm it'll be fixed but if it doesn't heal properly then he'll be sent to California or Salt Lake City for a rod to be put in his arm until it heals right...yeah, a lot of ifs and WAIT...

He's at coffee...yes, I drive him as he is on meds for the pain and I explained if he was unable to make a fast decision to prevent an accident whether someone else or him causing it...he could damage his arm even worse...so I drive...I enjoyed having him home when he was last off for four weeks from last accident but I didn't want him off like this...

I will add to this daily of my feelings and how he is doing and as the test are done and results come in...