Gdaughters....

OMG...we received in the mail today the most B E A U T I F U L pictures of the granddaughters. They are gorgeous...I sure do love my family...lol...I will scan them into my computer tomorrow and add them to this blog...

Too late to do it tonight, still have some other things to do before bed...Have a gOOD nIGHT!!!

Whoo hoo...luv them...lata
me <3

Pins 'n Needles...

Neither one of us slept good last night and of course, he doesn't every night anyway. The pain he has to deal with even with the meds just barely gets him by but he's trying to deal with it. I had to lay back down this morning after my breathing treatment. I was too tired and wouldn't have made it through today.

I was dreading this morning as he was going to hear the test results from the doctor. I found out tonight he had the feeling it was bad news but yet good. I told him I had this big 'ol lump in my throat and kept telling myself to take deep breathes and stay calm for him...I'm hanging in there but like him we privately have our moments. I think he's learning to be an optismist...lol...maybe. I sometimes have to be comical or try to cover up how I'm really feeling just to keep going. This is just my writings of what I'm or he is feeling and how we're getting through it together. If it doesn't make sense to anyone that's okay...it'll help me keep going and show strength for him.

One test hasn't come back which is the bone density test. The blood work came back as always good...it never shows anything wrong. Like I said it took the accident to happen to have the doctors figure something else is going on and run other tests. The CT chest and left arm showed a lesion in his left humerus where the pathologic fracture is and it also shows one in his right shoulder, right rib where he got hurt in June at work by pulling the cartilage from his ribs but also a fracture that did heal that the ER doctor didn't pick up on. He has lesions in back of neck and showing some small lesions in his liver. As far as below the waist, we are waiting for bone density results to still come in, hopefully tomorrow.

The doctor did say depending how long this takes he could probably go back to work if he was wanting to...so it's a matter of wait and see again...
He definitely will have a rod put in his left arm and bolted at shoulder and elbow to help hold humerus together to give it a chance to heal but not until he sees the onocologist doctor in St George and do a needle biopsy to determine what kind of cancer it is and where it stared from and hopefully the doctor has caught it early enough plus some other tests.

We'll know more when we see him...suppose to get that call tomorrow for the appointment. You see the surgery on his arm can't be done til the cancer is contained from either chemo or radiation or both cause if the doctor does surgery when cutting into him, doctor could spread the cancer cells...there's a website that can explain it better than me... http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec05/ch063/ch063a.html

Hope this will help if anyone wants to read it. We have let our daughters know and of course work. Workmen's comp is coming through and that's one less worry but only two-thirds of his monthly pay but it's better than nothing.

Anyway, still a lot of waiting again....til we know everything...more lata and all your prayers would be appreciated. He's not religious but believes in a higher power...

me <3

Appointments...Lit'l bit p/o'd...

The insurance company nurse called and asked questions and said he supposedly had an appointment with the ortho on Tuesday the 7th. I called the ortho's office and he didn't but also verified the tests to be done and it's not chest xray, mri, CT arm...it is CT of chest and arm and a bone density.

I called hospital and got them scheduled all for today at 4 p.m. and depending how long the test results take to come back, I'll schedule his follow-up appointment with ortho on 7th or 14th Tuesday. The scheduler said he had a chest x-ray in June when he had his other accident (and that's when the doctor told us he had pulled the cartilage from his ribs). The scheduler said his chest x-ray looked suspicious but couldn't discuss it with me, she wasn't a doctor. If the chest x-ray was suspicious WHY? didn't the ER doctor say something to Tim back in June so he could follow up on it and get what might need to be done. Lack of communication!!!!!!!!!!!! unless she was referring to the pulled cartilage from ribs...

Will write more later...oh, last minute thought-insurance nurse did say that his pain meds need to be a lesser dosage because when they go to do any surgery and he's on too strong of a pain meds then it's liable not to work for him when he'll really need something strong enough...I feel a lit'l bit hyper, pissed off but will stay in the moment until we talk to the doctors and get results and see about the "suspicious xray" if it was more than the pulled cartilage.

Later today, his doctors appointment is Tuesday, Oct 7th...

Quote...

The caption "Good ol' Dad...Dwarf Grumpies face...lol" taken September 2008



Okay, I said I would get his quote right and I was pretty close, "Expect the worst, Hope for the best and take whatever comes."

A certain someone special feels "her pappy is her number one hero"

We are still waiting for appointment scheduling, maybe Jennifer will call tomorrow.

I'm sitting here writing this and he's talking in his sleep. Yes, he's on the couch as it's hard for him sleep in bed until they fix his arm and I guess put it in a cast. It's been awkward and hard to sleep in bed as it hurts too much. Right now he's holds his arm like its in a sling at home (its uncomfortable wearing it around the house) but when he has to go out he uses the sling.

We're both holding our own and staying in the moment as much as possible. My youngest feels that she needs to come home this weekend from college. She told a friend she feels I'm going to need a shoulder to cry on but I actually am surprising myself today and feeling stronger than I thought.

He actually watched the "VP Debates" tonight and every so often he'd raise his voice a lit'l and say that's not right and you're not answering the question, etc...lol...I'd have to turn around and say you sound agitated...don't get so ralled up...lol

This morning I went and ran errands and when I got back he was saying how when he went out in the front or back yard he was seeing work he could do...cutting the rose bushes, pulling weeds, cutting branches on bottom of pine trees, weed the little bit of lawn we have in back but knew he couldn't. He's tired but yet restless...he's not used to sitting around.

A couple of the guys from work called this morning just before 7 a.m. and we couldn't figure out who in the heck would be calling that early...cause the girls know better...lol...it was the guys and they were checking to see what happened to him and how he was and wished him well but they had to get to work and he said he wished he was going to work!...

Feelings...

I'm having mixed feeling and trying to stay in the moment...he's had two on the job injuries within two months time this year (one last November which would make three and it's not like him to get hurt). It has taken this last one September 25, 2008 for the doctors to realize something else is going on with him. He has a saying and I'll have to put the quote down right later on but it goes something like this: "Expect the worst, Hope for the best and Bring on what it is and go on with Life". He says it better and again I will have to ask him to repeat it to me...

I'm trying to be strong and we talked some this this morning and he says after thinking back and how his body has been trying to tell him something and he has just thought it to be "Old Age" coming on as he just turned 64 years old...he's been a hard worker all his life and doesn't know anything else and slowing down is hard to do...I agreed with him because I've had to learn to slow down with my health and I have been trying to get my health on track or keep it still maintained as I have said in the past I feel I'm going to be needed to support him and be the stronger one. Staying in the moment is hard and I feel I have no one to talk to just yet until all the tests come back as to why his "left humerous shaft" got fractured/broken...the ER doctor said there was something eating away at his bone in his arm...best way I can explain the fracture is like grabbing the shoulder and elbow and pulling opposite directions and it cracks around the arm...

We are waiting for the hospital to call and schedule the appointments for a chest x-ray, MRI and CT of his arm and we got a call today to go in for a bunch of blood tests and with the results...his determination/decision will be made based on that...continue working after his arm is fixed or retire and/or go on disability...If all tests come back that whatever is going on with his arm is confined to his arm it'll be fixed but if it doesn't heal properly then he'll be sent to California or Salt Lake City for a rod to be put in his arm until it heals right...yeah, a lot of ifs and WAIT...

He's at coffee...yes, I drive him as he is on meds for the pain and I explained if he was unable to make a fast decision to prevent an accident whether someone else or him causing it...he could damage his arm even worse...so I drive...I enjoyed having him home when he was last off for four weeks from last accident but I didn't want him off like this...

I will add to this daily of my feelings and how he is doing and as the test are done and results come in...